My Songs Suck!
My songs suck!
Well, at least half of them do.
If you are familiar with the songs I write and record then you probably have one of these two thoughts about my statement.
“No they don’t” or “What do you mean only half of them suck?”
My relationship with my songs remind me of High School infatuations.
At first a song I’ve created seems wonderful, beautiful, perfect, I want to show her off.
I know she has flaws. Who doesn’t?
But she mine and I want the world to see her.
Then after a short time the flaws seem bigger. That screeching voice. Those words. That guitar. (What can I say, it is an imperfect analogy.)
So that’s when we break up. Or in this case I pull the song off the internet.
If you have ever gone to one of the web pages that feature my music, you may notice songs come and go quite often.
If you notice a song disappear, then that usually means we had a break-up.
Occasionally I try to fix it up and bring it back.
It usually doesn’t work.
No matter how much I dress it up It’s still a pig in a fancy outfit to me.
And so I drop it again.
Currently (as I write this) there are 8 songs on my music player at the Big Dawg Music Mafia website.(http://www.bigdawgmusicmafia.com/profile/TomBalistreri369)
The first three songs I really like. In fact you could call it love. We’re going steady. I’m engaged with them. I don’t even care if no one else in the world likes them. They’ve got me hooked.
The fourth song also has my interest. Despite the screeching voice. Although over time that flaw could get to me.
The rest of the songs are like that date you bring home and your parents and your friends like her and say nice things about her.
So I’m keeping them around for now. But my eye is wandering.
So let me sum this up.
8 out of 20 original songs I have published in the past year still remain.
I love 3 of them and am infatuated with the 4th.
The rest are still around because friends said nice things about them but I’ll probably dump them when I have something new.
I’m fickle.
Just a final point.
This was an analogy. In real life I’m married and don’t have a wandering eye. I’m settled.
Narrow Road
This is my latest song that I wrote and recorded.
I put a little video together to go along with it.
I hope you enjoy it.
My Freedom
Here is a song I wrote that seemed appropriate on this day.
Freedom Is Not Safe
Here are two canaries.
The first one is safe and secure.
It’s food is brought to it.
It’s cage is cleaned every other day.
It is given fresh water.
The cat can’t get near it.
As long as it pleases its’ master,
it has two square feet of worry free living.
The second canary lives on its’ own.
It must fend for itself.
It must find its’ own food and water.
It must protect itself from predators.
Its’ life is much harder, with no guarantees.
It only has the whole world to fly in.
Open the cage and a window and the wild canary is unlikely to fly into the cage.
The “safe” canary will probably fly out the window never to be seen again.
The price of safety in this world is often the loss of freedom
If one wishes to be free then expect risks.
Even danger.
But you will have the whole world to potentially fly in.
First Video and Audio of a Pope – Leo XIII
He even sings at the end!
Come On Home
Come On Home
I find it easier to write songs than blog.
So, until I have some words of wisdom to share with you I will offer you this video I made.
This is a song I wrote and perform called “Come On Home”.
It is for a prodigal. I hope you enjoy it.
An Inside Look At Songwriting: How I Wrote The Song “Holes”.
Songwriting is an art that has a variety of methods. I have had songs appear in my mind as if by magic, complete with lyrics and a tune that only requires me to figure out how to play it on the guitar and put the words to paper.
This is the exception rather than the rule.
There are several methods I use to write songs. One way is that a lyric idea comes into my mind. I then flesh it out and add a melody to fit it.
Another tact I take is to compose a piece of music and then add the lyrics. This is the path I took when I wrote the song “Holes”.
Often when I choose this path lyrics come to me in a way that can be described as “divine inspiration”.
Even as I write music I try to sing words to fit the melody. These can be nonsense words that I throw out later or they might have an intresting sound to them that I can build on.
As I wrote this song I found myself immediately singing “There’s a hole in the window, there’s a hole in the floor”. Catchy, but it sounds like I plan to sing about an old house.
I then had the line “there’s a whole lot of folks who just aren’t whole anymore” enter my mind. Now I had a clear direction for the song.
The song was going to be about “holes”. Or more accurate about words that sound like holes (such as whole) and how this relates to Gods provision to being and feeling whole.
I know that sounds like a big leap of ideas from one line but that’s how it happened for me. (As I said “divine inspiration”.)
I then thought of the holes that Jesus Christ allowed to be put into Himself in order for mankind to receive the gift of salvation and a new and a more abundant life.
The rest of the lines flowed out of my mind relatively quickly and with some minor tweaks for grammar or for ease of singing, the song was finished.
There’s a hole in the window. There’s a hole in the floor. There’s a whole lot of folks who aren’t whole anymore. There’s a hole in their soul where the pain gets in, that only the Holy One can fill in He’s wholly God. He’s wholly man. He’s the Holy One know as the great I Am. He’s got a hole in His side. He’s got holes in His hands. He allowed them there to make us whole again. There’s a whole wide world going into a hole. There are holes in mens plans of taking more than the whole. There’s a hole in the space were they are trying to take hold. But there’s only one who can make them feel whole.You Are Not Good Enough To Be In Ministry.
You are not good enough to be in ministry. I probably am even less qualified than you. But the good news is that it doesn’t disqualify us from having a ministry.
It took me a long time to realize this. Which is a little distressing because I could have been contributing to the Body Of Christ so much sooner.
Back in the 70s’ I had a band that would perform a set of songs by Elvis as part of our show. This went over big with the audience as you can imagine.
I was often requested to sing “How Great Thou Art” but I never added that song to the show. I felt I was not worthy to sing that song in public. That was too bad because many in the audience might have benefited from hearing a gospel song. Looking back I also think it would have been interesting to see the reaction of it being performed in a bar. But an opportunity was lost because of my self perception of being not a “good enough” Christian.
I was raised Roman Catholic. Went to parochial grade school. I always believed Jesus was the son of God for as far back as I can remember. But the Catholic schools (at least the one I went to in the 60s’.) didn’t do a good job of catechesis back then.
I didn’t know the reason why Christ came and had to suffer and die for us.
Then along came Christian television. Late at night after a gig I would lay in my bed trying to unwind and would watch the PTL Club (which was a two hour show back then. And they had a great band.) and other Christian shows. There I learned the details about the plan of salvation. Not knowing the difference between renewal and rebirth, and not sure if my infant baptism counted, I said the sinners prayer one night. Then again another night. And again another half dozen times. I wanted to be sure.
Now I have read and seen on T.V countless testimonies about how making Jesus Lord of your life instantly changed a person. Old habits ceased. Friends immediately noticed a change and fulfillment and success followed as they grew and led others into God’s kingdom.
It didn’t happen that way for me. I’m slow when it comes to change. Even when it’s for the better. If you don’t believe me then ask my wife. I did begin to read the bible everyday. I have read it cover to cover at least a dozen times in addition to daily readings. I began to have new insight into the scriptures and studied and read countless Christian books on a variety of subjects. I went to church, but here I confess I didn’t attend regularly.
But I still continued doing things I thought were sinful. I struggled to overcome and would have temporary victories. But I would eventually give in to temptation and find my self in a state of “Not Worthy”.
I suppose compared to others my sins would not be considered great. Some may not even think they are sins. But my conscious seemed convinced and this led me to believe I couldn’t do anything publicly in the name of Christ because of the potential of bringing disgrace to His name if my secrets were discovered.
My secrets probably would have caused most people to yawn.
Still I thought folks in ministry had it all together. Then I began to witness the scandals of the televangelists. These were men who I respected and were doing great things. Well, some of the things they were doing weren’t so great.
It seems like hardly a week goes by without reading about the failings of ministers nationally and even locally.
Then it dawned on me. These people are human. They’re imperfect. They make mistakes. They need a savior. Just like I do!
God works through flawed and imperfect people. Because that’s all He has to work with.
Consider this:
Abraham was inpatient waiting for God’s promise and had a child by his wife’s’ maidservant.
Jacob got his blessing through lies and deceit.
Moses had a problem with self esteem and public speaking.
Samson was a womanizer.
Rahab was a prostitute.
Jonah ran from God.
Elijah was depressed.
David had an affair and was a murderer.
Peter denied Christ.
And the list could go on. But God was able to use all of these flawed individuals.
I’m not saying that it’s OK to have habitual sin in your life. But if you wait until you are perfect to do anything for God you’ll never be ready.
Pray for forgiveness, repent, study your bible, then get out there and do something.
If God has called you…you’re qualified!
The Rapture Gets A Bad Rap
How can I ignore the current hot topic in the religious and non-religious world? I speak of course of The Rapture. Or as it turns out the non-rapture.
Today as I write it is May 21, 2011.
Harold Camping the founder of the Family Radio Network and on air bible expert, predicted with 100% certainty that rapture would occur at 6pm (your local time) today.
He based his conclusions on a Rube Goldberg style of mathematical formulations that enabled him to precisely name the hour and time of this event…for a second time in 17 years.
Assuming that he wasn’t off by a couple of hours or days and we are all going to be here for a while yet, I would like to share some of my thoughts about the rapture.
When I first heard preachers speak of the rapture I was not convinced that it was as they said. I listened to many arguments on the when, how and whys by some intelligent, scholarly and insightful men of God. I finally came around to their reasoning and believed that this event may occur the way they described.
As time went by there would be an occasional prediction by someone that the rapture was about to occur. I always groaned when someone made a prediction because I knew of the inevitable jokes and ridicule that Christianity in general would receive because of them.
Still I kept the faith and waited for that glorious day.
One day I received a free copy of “Left Behind” by Tim LaHaye. I was able to read the whole book while sitting in our county courthouse waiting to be called for jury duty. (The case was settled and we weren’t needed.)
A few months later on T.V. the local christian station was playing the “Left Behind” movie starring Kirk Cameron. I stuck with the movie until halfway through the rapture scene. It just struck me as absurd. (At least the way it was presented in this movie.) Half the people were vanishing from airplanes, buses, cars or while walking down the street. And all that was left were they stood was a little pile of their clothes. This was a turning point for me. Little piles of their clothes!
Could not God who could take mortal flesh and transform it to immortal and do this with millions of folks at the same time do something with their clothes! Turn polyester into cotton robes or just burn them up…anything but the way this movie portrayed it!
Christian movies are often under funded and low budget so I guess it’s not their fault.
The truth is it didn’t take a whole lot to shake my belief in the common image of what the rapture will be like.
I believe there will be a rapture. It says in the bible at the last trump the dead in Christ will rise first and then the living to join Christ in the air. But this happens at the last trump…at the very end of the age.
I’m aware of the argument that God wouldn’t raise us to meet us in the air and then just turn us around to come back to earth with Him. I know there is supposed to be the Great Marriage Feast of The Lamb.
But this argument ignores the nature of God. He lives outside of space and time. Time is of this physical universe. When we join him in that dimension were those whose nature is made of spirit live time will not exist. We could be with Him for what in this world would seem like a thousand years and return to a moment that was only minutes after we rose.
I also wonder why people think that of all the generations of believers that have been martyred through the ages, this generation deserves to escape any test or trial. In the U.S.A. if we can’t have a bible club meet in the local school we think we’re being persecuted. Meanwhile in other parts of the world Christians are being put to death for their faith. Could it be that not having a rapture before the Antichrist comes to power could cause folks to loose their faith? Could this be the great falling away the bible speaks of?
I think believers are going to be tested. I don’t look forward to it and I admit I hope I won’t have to endure it. It could be that before the rapture occurs that there will be so few Christians left that no one will notice when they’re gone.
But unlike Mr. Camping or others who make predictions and I will admit.. I could be wrong.
In the end it doesn’t matter when the rapture does or doesn’t occur. Any day could be your last day on earth and you could find yourself facing God.
Try to live your life so you’ll be unashamed and ready.
Tom Balistreri
Tom Balistreri is married, a father of two sons, a singer, a songwriter and musician.
